I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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