We're facebook friends in real life
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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