What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
