You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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