next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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