I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
