your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
