I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
