He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
