she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
