the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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