There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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