i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
