you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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