that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she looked like the before picture.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
