omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize