OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
