no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
