I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
