I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
