why didn't you poke me back
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
