Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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