ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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