its not stalking. its research.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He kissed a someone with a penis
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
