Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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