just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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