u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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