Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
