the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
