Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
