: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
