idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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