Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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