I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
