my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
