someone owes me an orgasm
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
