we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
