these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
