who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
