So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
