Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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