did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How's work?
Spinning.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
