Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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