I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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