ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I party with great urgency now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
