no you cant smoke seaweed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
