Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
