I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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