we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
