Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
