there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We need to rekindle our bromance
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
